AWARENESS
INTRODUCTION
“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I will meet you there.” Rumi
Wherever you are on your path, along this journey of life, I meet you. During our time, together throughout this course, I invite you meet me in this field of which Rumi writes. A place where there is no right and no wrong. A place where all of who you — the discovered and undiscovered — are welcome.
Awareness by definition is the knowledge or perception of a situation or fact.
THE FIELD
In this field we begin with awareness. As you move through the lesson you will begin to see the importance of this word and the ways awareness creates the foundation from which we rebuild a deeper knowledge of love.
Have you heard the phrase “ignorance is bliss”? You don’t know what you don’t know and the key part of this is that you’re not responsible for what you don’t know. Once you’ve become aware of something you can’t become unaware of it — like accidentally seeing an in-law in their underwear — some things you just can’t un-see. You are responsible for what you know. Your awareness of every single bit of information you take in supports the choices you make.
IT'S ALL NEUTRAL
We begin this course with awareness because that is where it all begins. It is information. It is feedback. Awareness is neutral. We are not judging the information at this point. This is the discovery phase. As you work through these lessons it is my hope that you will bring awareness to what IS working to support you. And also to shine a light on the areas that are not working in support of your self and desires. At this point in the process we are here to simply observe.
Awareness is detached observing, as a scientist collects data, seek to discover facts. Naturally, you will have opinions and judgments too. For best results I encourage you to stick to what you witness. Let it all be as it is.
That chair is blue and upholstered. It has wooden legs. These are the facts. Yes, it may be ugly to you. Maybe it reminds you of a dear loved one you haven’t seen for awhile. Suddenly you’re remembering the last conversation the two of you shared and you begin to feel emotional. Do you see the difference?
Say, you’re having a conversation with a loved one you see them looking at their phone. Once, twice, and a third time. You become annoyed and begin to interpret their behavior as rude. Your judgment has you experience a story that they don’t care about you. Looking at the phone during conversation is a fact. Not caring about you is a judgment.
Observe the facts. They are information for you.
Awareness helps to show you what works for you and what doesn’t. Awareness gives you an opportunity to ask for what you want. You could also make the choice to tolerate something that doesn’t work for you and remain annoyed. But remember, this is a choice. The first step is awareness of the situation. Who you want to be in the face of any situation? Knowing this creates an opportunity for an empowered response that best serves and empowers you. Awareness of the situation — the facts — (then awareness of your judgment towards that situation will help you to stay detached long enough to make decisions that are self honoring.) All situations are neutral. Collect the data.
HOW WE SEE IT
The second step is awareness of our interpretation of the situation. Our interpretation shines a light on our current reality — what works for us and what doesn’t work for us. Our response to our interpretation of the situation is just a product of the tape that’s automatically playing within us at any given time. We cannot change the tape until we become aware that there is one. Only then can we begin to develop the discipline to show up for ourself in the face of our response to our interpretation of the situation. Where most of us get stuck is when we notice the situation and get lost down the wormhole; the story we project onto the situation. Then we go red. Being observant and aware opens up the space for you to release your agenda or internal story of what is happening.
Awareness of both a situation and of your response to that situation is the takeaway. Both are neutral facts. By remaining curious you are in a position to make an empowered choice of how you wish to move forward instead of being taken hostage by your automatic, unexamined reaction.
Developing awareness through this process allows us a chance to change our response, to do it differently next time, in a way that is honoring to your self. In a way that is showing yourself love.
WHY WE MAKE JUDGEMENTS
Our judgements and assumptions seem to be on auto-pilot. Before we turn to look our judgements and assumptions in the face they seem to us to be automatic - therefore true to us. The judgement invokes a sub-conscious memory that is well embedded within our psyche. That’s why it’s so automatic! Our assumptions and judgements are sub-conscious, that is, below our consciousness awareness. This triggers something, usually from back when we were first told or shown in some way — knowingly or not — that we were wrong or bad or not good enough. This belief becomes a part of our internal story. And so if we believe it to be true we will continue to do, say, and act in ways that make it true. We are always working to prove what we believe to be true. When we look in the mirror that’s what we see. And we think that this story is what other people see when they look at us. It is our greatest fear that they will think that we are bad or broken or wrong. We fear this because we believe it to be true.
We want everyone else to think that we good and right and lovable but somehow, without knowing why, we keep working to prove to ourselves that we are not. Until we believe that we are good enough we will continue to do whatever it takes to prove to the outside world that we are good enough. When we are setting out to prove that we are lovable it’s because we have a core belief that we’re not lovable. Only when we believe that we are lovable will we stop trying to prove that we are.
Once we know that we are good enough — lovable just as we are, whole, and complete — we no longer need to prove it as such. Because we know it. We live it. We act it. We are it.
That’s a lot to take in, I know. Read that again.
It is only from a place of awareness that we can start to notice what’s been going on without our knowledge. Do your best to suspend your judgment for just long enough to allow yourself to consider the data.
YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
I meet you here, where you are, with all that you know and all that you didn’t know about yourself until now.
An essential piece to diving into this course is you making the empowering decision to become 100% honest with yourself 100% of the time. No more tricking yourself. No more excuses, no more justifications, and no more teeny tiny little white lies. True healing begins when lying to yourself ends.
Moving forward on this path you get to choose to be real, to be true, and to be honest with yourSELF. Once you are onboard with proceeding by being completely honest with yourself you will have the opportunity to take an accurate accounting of your life thus far by documenting first what isn’t working and then what is working.
BECOMING AWARE OF YOURSELF
This is an awareness exercise, all of you is welcome and accepted here. These questions are intentionally open. Answer them “lightening round”. We are aiming for the first thing that pops into your mind; quick and honest. It’s amazing what you might discover about yourself when you let the answers flow.
All of this and so much more defines your preferences. Knowing your preferences supports you in honoring your authentic self. It’s ok to have an opinion! Awareness of yourself is an access point to loving yourself by accepting and believing in what is true for you without ever needing to create guilt or think that you ever need to apologize for being true to yourself.
How often do you do things as they have been done by family, friends, coworkers — your hairdresser’s cousin — thinking that anyone else’s way must somehow be better than YOUR way?! I was taught either directly or indirectly to go with the flow, keep moving, do what I was told. I was taught to please my parents which perfectly groomed me — as so many of us are — to be people pleasers. As a child I wasn’t invited to sit down quietly and make time to consider what I wanted. When I answered a list similar to the one above it blew me a away that I had so many preferences. I loved seeing that I could, when prompted, see what I liked without considering anyone else in the process. I felt so happy and free.
Knowing the answers to these seemingly simple questions can open up a new world for you, the world of you. With awareness and a little curiosity your authentic self will begin to reveal itself to you and may help to invoke some yummy love vibrations. How can you love yourself when you don’t know who you are?
Stay open, dig deep, listen to your SELF…annnnnd go!