AUTHENTICITY
“Be yourself — not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”
-Henry Thoreau
By definition Authentic means genuine, based on facts and accurate.
IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU
Your authentic self is who you really are beneath all the modifications you have made along the way to earn the right to be accepted and loved.
I’m guessing that at an early age the truth of you were wasn’t always encouraged and/or welcome. Your adult role models expected you to behave in a way that they believed was appropriate. This was primarily for their own comfort or to serve their own “should” mentality.
“You should hug your Uncle Joe.”
“You should eat this way. Like this (!)”
“Don’t talk like that!”
“For goodness sakes, are you going to wear that, what is wrong with you?”
SOUND FAMILIAR?
There wasn’t anything wrong with you then and there isn’t anything wrong with you now. These adult role models weren’t taught how to know, love, and accept themselves so they did the best they could with you based on what they were taught. They didn’t truly know what was best for them, or you. They did what they thought they “should” do in order to raise you the way they thought you “should” be raised. As a result of this way, you probably were rarely asked what you wanted.
You likely weren’t encouraged to speak your truth. Maybe your truth was so unwelcome that you adapted yourself to what you thought would bring praise and approval. Maybe this quieted your truth to the point you struggle to identify with it now. Perhaps you have drawn people into your life that make decisions based on what they want so that you don’t have to. Perhaps that was appealing and felt safe and familiar to you, at first. It’s possible that choosing these people has allowed you to steer clear of choosing where you want to eat, where you want to vacation and what type of style you prefer. Is it possible you have been afraid of making a “wrong” choice?
Well, guess what? You cannot mess this up.
You have the power to choose again (and again and again) to learn more about the truth of who you are from the experience of life! I believe that your “mistakes” and “failures” can be looked at in as equally as powerful as your successes and triumphs. They are both providing you with wisdom, clarity, as well as guiding your direction.
MEET MY NEEDS PLEASE
I know the discomfort and fear that is present when overcoming the conditioning of considering everyone else’s needs. I spent most of my life adjusting according to who each person in my life wanted me to be (while abandoning many of my own needs altogether) in order to receive “love”. I was amazing at it. I took great pride in my ability to please others until I became aware of what it was actually doing to me! While everyone loved me, I had resentment bubbling just beneath the surface. And I was terrified that all of these people I was pleasing would be onto me, I’d be found out. What if they learned the truth about who I really was?! I felt scared. Meanwhile I longed for others to accommodate me and my needs the way I so feverishly would do for them. I felt sad and angry, it seemed that I was a giver in a world of takers. I was frustrated.
The hardest truth for me to accept was that I created this world. I wasn’t aware of it at the time. I was doing what I needed to do in order to survive based on what I knew. Today I live from the truth that I am the predominant creator of my reality and I hold the power to make choices that support the truth of who I am and the life that I want to live. I am here to say to you now that your transformation is possible.
It takes time to recondition an old way of being. It is indeed a process. And, once you commit to discovering the truth, it will reveal itself to you again and again. Re-setting your focus each time you become aware of an old story that plays out in your head will be in part what makes your transformation possible. You can begin now to craft a new story that supports you — authentically.
First, you become aware of yourself as you are, right now and the ways you operate (behave) in the world. Then you begin to peel back the layers. Have you awakened into a world that seems to no longer align with who you are now?
YOUR BODY KNOWS
That tight feeling in your throat or sinking feeling in your stomach is information. Butterflies in your stomach or tingles in your fingers mean something too. Your body is always giving feedback. It’s giving you a sense of what is true for you. When you are operating from a place of authenticity your decisions don’t ‘have’ to be made, they are already made, you check in, notice what is going on for you. Is your energy constricting or expanding? You can experiment with this and see if overtime you can stop ‘trying’ to figure it out the answers and instead let them come.
THE KEY
Being authentic is key to living an empowered life. Being authentic increases your confidence and self esteem. The more transparent you are the more freedom you experience. Transparency doesn’t mean you share everything with everyone! A transparent life is living without hiding and lying to yourself. As you work with this over time you begin to cultivate the wisdom to know when and what to share and with whom. Living in such a way supports the very fact that you are free to be the real you, without apology, guilt, shame, worry and regret. Authentic living supports a life full of freedom and joy, this is your birth rite.